The Battle is Over

I have never dreamt of having a child in the first place. With the problems I was having, it would be miracle to actually conceive.

The days after my marriage were filled with pressures from all to get pregnant. The bastard, mak, the bastard's parents, the bomoh cronies - practically everyone! It came to a point where I was accused of not wanting to be pregnant by popping pills!! (Some people, like the bastard for instance, was born to be stupid. He played with coconuts with he was little!)

Anyways, God willing, I got pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful daughter some 23 months and 18 days ago. Everyone was happy except for the bastard. Whenever he came to visit, all he did was tap her on her arms and left to beautify his body at the gym. Then on, I knew, he didn't care for her.

The hell with him, she is my baby, my sunshine, my 'nyawa'. So what if he didn't care and provided her with love?

At the Syariah court, after the divorce proceedings, he cornered me and said that he wanted shared custody - he wanted her three days in a week!! What the 'fish-head-curry'? The guy who wouldn't even spend a minute to play with his daughter, wanted to take her for three days in a week? What the f&*@K?

I applied for an interim order from the Syariah High Court; to be given temporary custody of Saadiah. It was denied - point blank; as the court claimed that my allegations were baseless unless and until the bastard takes the stand and admits / defends himself!

There I was; a mother who has cared for her daughter from Day One - who took time off from an official office event to take her child to the clinic so that the so called father could continue sleeping at 10am in the morning, who picks up all bills related to the child - medical, clinical, diapers, milk formula, clothes, toileteries, maids' salaries - seeking justice from the higher authorities, only to be told that justice could not be served.

The lawyer advised me to find solid reasons to prove to the court that he was actually a threat to Saadiah. Would they have believed if I were to tell them that he was indeed the 'Syaiton nirrojim'? I had doubts....as I recall, the counselling officer at Pejabat Agama Gombak Timur said that mandi bunga is not haram!! Argghhhh...

Whilst both my lawyer and I were busy trying to stall the court decision to have a hearing, the bastard made an application at the High Court for shared custody. I was summoned to court to attend a Majlis Sulh (mak reckoned that i should bring a 'lampu suluh' for this session! hahahahaha) together with him, in the presence of a Sulh Official to solve issues pertaining to the child custody. What can I say, the bastard is a cheapskate - just as long as it doesnt involve any ka-ching factor (his money that is)

The first session was postponed; purposely had it postponed to spike him (boy, was he pissed! muahahahahahahahahaha) The second session was postponed as the Sulh Officer had to go on training. The final one was held yesterday.

It was the first time I saw him since the divorce - he still carries the 'P' face (I leave it to u guys; I am sure you lots can come up with better words than Pundek!) As always, my dear Sha was was me.(Thanks babe. I so lurve you so much...Thank you for putting up with me through thick and thin, through good and bad times..thank you so much!) We were such 'kalut-s', I swear to God.

Firstly, thanks to my voluptuous and perky boobies, someone's head got the dodging at the counter. I was trying so hard not to look at the bastard that I didnt realise someone was actually there at the counter. Damn! Then, of course there was the panic-pee attack. Out of the blue, I just had to pee. The urge was so overwhelming that I went straight into the men's toilet! When I went it, the ustaz thought that Sha was my daughter! O dear God!

The session started with him stating his claims; he wanted Saadiah 3 days a week, but full custody will be given to me. Huh... in his dreams! And he went on and on, rambling on the fact that he hasn’t seen her and that Saadiah doesn’t know him, blah, blah, blah…Susah susah die menyusun hujaj-hujah yang pada dia was probably the most intelligent dialogue he has ever had in his entire life!

I told the officer that I have never stopped him from seeing Saadiah; our door is always open. But he failed to do so. If he truly misses Saadiah, he would have waited at his sister’s place whenever Saadiah and I come over. But no, he would just drop his mum and the maids at the gate and speed away!

I also said that I don’t see the logic of her sleeping over as he is never home. (especially now with the new girl). He has never been home. It was always some berubat session or some tanam-di-tepi-pantai rendezvous with the bomoh crony.

Anyhoots, after much ‘haggling’ by the officer and the constant display of my utterly disgusted face to the both of them, the bastard finally gave in. All he got was 2 Sundays every month, from 9am to 6pm at Kak Ani's place, no sleepovers until she is 5 and with my permission, should he want to take Saadiah out of Kak Ani's house, the two elder siblings would have to be with him. Otherwise, a person whom I trust would have to accompany him at all times. I am given the full custody of Saadiah. Alhamdullillah.

The bastard however refused to pay any child alimony. He has forgotten his pact with Allah - my prayers to him! Hope he sees the light before the tunnel comes tumbling down onto him..

The Truth is Finally Out..

After the divorce, many came up to me and said, 'Dont worry, the truth will come out soon..'

Soon came seven months after; yesterday to be exact. I found out that Saadiah's dad has been seeing someone from back then; from the time we were married.

The woman he has been seeing is a divorcee with two boys (young toddlers I was told). Well. a dream come true for him, for he had always wanted a son. ( Now, he has two!) She is also one of the bomoh's follower - finally, a girl of his dreams..Now, they can both go and 'mandi bunga' together under the Sungai Klang Bridge, to ward off all bad /evil spirits/demon or whatever they believe in.

My ex-step daughter, Jamie was just so annoyed with her father, that all the beans were spilled to her mummy yeterday. All she had wanted was a teddy bear - a gift for a school friend since it was his /her birthday. But the father, being the prick he is, refused to part with his RM10. His money meant more than seeing his daughter happy. Probably he was saving the RM10 to buy his girlfriend some gifts from the RM2 shop!!

Jamie told her mummy that her father had always taken her on his secret dates with this woman. They would meet at AMCORP when I am out with Hazel, Jamie's other sister whenever they were in PJ back then. God must love me; He had saved me and brought me out of the marriage which was filled with betrayal, lies, deception and loveless.

I dont know why I am angry, but I am. In fact, angry is just not the word to describe my feelings. Rage, fury, resentment, disgust, hatred - a drop of this concoction will send one straight to hell on a one way ticket! How dare he meddle with one's feelings??

I sometimes wonder whether he is really human or he is just a pig! Not the ordinary pig, he must be of the wild boar specie - 'sondol' anything that comes his way!

My heart goes to the children; the three beautiful, innocent girls - Jamie, Hazel and Saadiah. Saadiah is just too young to understand, but for Jamie and Hazel, having to go through the whole process of accepting and acknowledging a new step mother would probably traumatize them..especially later on in their lives with the opposite sex. I hope and pray that my girls will meet responsible men who will love them unconditionally and whole-heartedly. Not like the pig that both their mum and I had married.

To the other woman -Maria/Marlia, all the best. You are now treading in deep waters with a tube filled with air. But as you swim along, the tube will soon exhaust all air, and you will find yourself having to swim all the way back to the shore. Fatigue will soon catch up with you, and if you are not careful, you will soon drown in the deep blue ocean..

Man Shopping

Janet emailed me today - reminding me that my clock is tick-tock-tick-tocking away and my days to finding a replacement hubbs are now numbered! Can't be....!!!

Aunty Tan (mak's friend who reads palms and birthdates) said to me that I would be married again in my early 40s. I do not know whether it was just a form of pacifying -as I just got out of my marriage or it was for real! (but i like the second one better..muahahahahaha) I did ask her to be specific - on the age factor especially. And that was when she made my day - for the next many many moons of my new single life.

I told everyone about it - my crack sister, the gurlie gurlz, the babes.. EVERYONE, and it made me feel great and back on track again! It was then I decided to 'test the water'.

I guess the Litmus paper I had used was not the right one as I began to attract men who are 1) unable to hold themselves for more than two seconds and 2) of Vellapan's (nick name for Deva)species. I must say - Been there and done that already and I am SOOOOOOO not going back to those routes no more!! All tests were put to halt...under further notice.

Then, Lan and family moved to Melawati one month after Baity gave birth to Qayyum. My weekends don't seemed like a weekend no more..Weekends are no longer days of rest but days of slogging behind the stove and running around trying to keep up with Saadiah and Iman! It doesn't stop at that - I feed and bathe them too! Iman has a new mama now - now that she has join the 'mandi bersama mama' fraternity and seen them all - the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly! (if you guys dont know hoots about the things I have said earlier - tough titties..)

The final blow came about during the last weekend - mak & Aton was busy doing some housekeeping on the slope next to the house. So, as always, I have been designated to handle all kitchen matters. Fine....I thought. Little did I know that Aton did not prepare any breakfast. Never mind, I said to myself, I will just run to the mamak restaurant and grab some roti canai. Then I thought why not make chicken rice - the easiest of all dishes. Maybe Baity can help babysit Saadiah while I cook..I thought..

I ended up juggling everything at one time while she sits pretty-ly breastfeeding Qayyum. I am not saying that she should stop breastfeeding - what I am saying is that probably her milk storage is depleting and that she should start on the formula. But no....what would I know about being an ibu mithali? "Baity kalau boleh nak susukan Qayyum susu badan sampai dia dua tahun"(I can somehow visualise her tonation and facial expression -YUCK)

Anyhoots, there I was, boiling the rice, steaming the chicken, roasting some chicken, taking the steam chicken out of the steamer and soaking them in cold water, feeding the kids, chasing them around, turning the chicken in the oven, taking the chicken out of the cold water and into the steamer......wait...wait..need to catch my breath..frying the taugeh, setting the table and calling everyone to eat! (Even the maid don't do half the things I did!)

Sunday was no better - and that was when I decided I needed a break! I need to go man shopping and I need to go real soon! No more playing the adorable, feel-free-to-step-all-over-me ayu/kak ayu/sister-in-law/maz..I have had enough of all this crap.

If only shopping for men is as easy as buying taugeh at the market, life would be just perfect. If Dah busuk and hitam, buang... kalau nak beli, cari yang keras-keras...